nations or swine?

It is a gorgeous Saturday.  Because of days like this, I am reminded again how much God loves me.  How could you experience weather like this and not notice...not want to praise.  

I have written about some of this stuff before.  Thank you for letting me talk through it.  I have been struggling with it more lately...and maybe you have some insight.  if not, then you can just read my musings about it.  

So as any Christian knows, there is this little excerpt in the Bible that we have labeled "The Great Commission."

"And Jesus came up and spoke to them, saying, “ All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth.  Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit,  teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”"

[matthew 28:18-20]

So as a follower of Christ and His teachings/commands, this is something that I will do, right?  The definition of "All Nations" has been debated.  Some people think it means you  must leave the United States.  Others (myself included) realizes that we are indeed a nation too...also in great need of Jesus.  So my personal mission field is here.  (Not to say that overseas missions are irrelevant.  they are vitally important, and I am amazed at the people willing to take it on)

 I get this excited urge to go share this with people.  I've been given an unimaginable gift and there are millions of people who have the same gift available to them, but keep turning it down.  It's like they just got an email that says they are the Grand Prize Winner...CALL NOW!  

and they just click delete.  

But then there is this other thing that Jesus said.  And honestly, it's starting to feel like THIS is the position I'm in.  

"Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces."

 [or as another translation says]

“Don’t waste what is holy on people who are unholy. Don’t throw your pearls to pigs! They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you. "

[matthew 7:6]

Basically what Jesus just got done telling these people is not to judge.  Take the log out of your own eye before you look at the speck in the other guys'.   Then he says this.  

A commentary I read on it says that Jesus is saying that there are those people that are obviously hostile toward God and want nothing to do with him.  And you're not supposed to give what is holy to them.  Because all they'll do is trample it then turn and attack you.  

oh my. 

That's honestly what it feels like sometimes.  I present what is holy, sacred and so special to me to these people that want nothing to do with any of it.  And not only do they shoot down, trample and try to refute everything i say...they attack ME.  

Last night at work, I had a "friendly debate" with some coworkers about Obama's latest decision to support gay marriage.  Whew. they asked me what I thought about that, about gay marriage and then proposed a lot of scenarios, asking if i would change my mind if THAT were the case.  

I can have a friendly debate, no problem.  But in articulating what I believe and sharing what the Bible says and Jesus teaches, am I throwing my pearls before swine or am I going into all the world and preaching the gospel?  

how do i discern which is which?  at what point do i just not engage with these people?  is it ever fair to give up on telling them, because i never know what will prompt change...?

I am really not sure what the answer to that is. I apologize for not having a blog with answers to all of these questions...they are just my thoughts as of late.  
(disclaimer: if any of my non-Christian friends are reading this...No, I don't think you're pigs or whatever...and I have a LOT of respectful, non-Christian friends.  But I will not apologize for being honest and sharing my heart or my beliefs.  I struggle with these things because I care about you AND your heart/life/soul.  If I didn't believe in the cause of Christ 100% or love Jesus and you this much, I'm sad to say, you probably wouldn't even know I'm a Christian...) 

now on to the rest of the blog.       

 

Baby brother is so adorable.  He makes the craziest faces.  And on top of that, he's actually starting to SMILE!  

I LOVE IT. 

   

 SO CUTE! 

 I took Big Sister to the mall and we tried on little hair accessories at Claire's.  She is not one for head-decor, so it came off shortly thereafter.  

 But it was way cute while it lasted.  

 She loves the Carousel.  I know it doesn't look like it, but she really does.  She is just in awe of the lights and music.  And every once in a while, she'll break a faint grin and go, "Oooo."

  

 Sierra likes to snooze in the front seat while I drive.  

She also likes snoozing on the floor.  

She does a lot of snoozing in general.  

"Show me your teeth, K!"

Bathtime with Big Sister is SO much fun.  She laughs, giggles and has so much fun! 

 This girl loves looking at herself in the mirror.  it's really cute.  

And that's that.  

doors.

Sometimes when I sit down to write a blog, I do so with little inspiration.  Today is one of those days.  it's 11:24...a little to early to go to sleep.  But my sweet Sierra is in her kennel snoozing quietly and I decided to just lay in my bed and write.  (while listening to my new playlist of music.)  And when I can't think of a title, it is a random word that I find. 

As a forewarning, this is going to be a picture-ridden post.  not like that is disappointing, i'm sure.  Everyone likes pictures. everyone.  =)

 these pictures are precious for two reasons.  1: Big Sister is wearing a headband...and actually keeping it in.  2: shows how expressive she is.  first pic is her worried, concerned, "ouchie", confused and disgruntled face.  pretty much fits everything. then she'll just grin a cheesy grin like pic #two.

 Sierra Enjoying a day outside at the park.  she's getting SO BIG!!

Alright so I have a tragic story for you.  The other night I ran to a friends house for a brief visit (two hours...which is relatively brief).  I had decided to leave Sierra home in the bathroom, because I wasn't going to be gone super long and it was near bedtime anyway.  Well my bathroom door is a sliding barn-door type with no lock.  So I have to put a weight down to hold it shut. Apparently it's not enough weight, because she got out.  And ate/ruined my new work shoes (only been worn two shifts) and gnawed on my new hairdryer (bought it two days before), peed on the floor and destroyed an entire roll of toilet paper.  needless to say, (and yet I'll say it anyway)...I was livid.  She has made messes before, but never destroyed things that cost me money and I had JUST bought.

You may wonder why I don't have pics of the mess. it's because I go into cleaning mode as soon as I get home and find a Sierra mess...and don't think about documenting til too late.  

Anyway, in my frustration, I forgot my building key when I took Sierra out to pee.  It was close to 1 am and there was no one going in or out.  the intercom is still connected to Krissa's phone, so I can't let myself in that way. and she was sleeping.  So I sat on the floor and waited... and prayed for patience.  

 Here we are.  Sierra fell asleep...thankfully. 

 and then would glance at me with these woeful eyes every once in a while.  *sigh* it was a rough night to say the least.  

after 45 minutes, I was finally let in by a guy who lives on the floor above me and was just getting home from work. I had never met him, and he asked me a few questions to make sure I actually lived there and wasn't a puppy-owning bum.  

 Here's a few quick pics of where I work.  I tried to get more, but the timing was a little off.

 This is the front...we have some outside seating and it's along a busy street, so we get a lot of people walking by on their way to the hotels, the shows/theater and other attractions. 

This is where I spend my days...working... it is called "the bar" but that is only because it isn't the "dining room".  It's more of a lounge/casual seating.  No reservations are needed and it tends to attract a less formal crowd, which I like better...

This is the break room.  fancy, huh.  

Here is a representation of my time with Baby Brother.  He's such a sweetie, and gaining a cute little personality!  In the top picture, it shows how strong his neck is. he likes laying on people's chest and supporting his own neck and looking around. such an alert fellow.

Here we have Big Sister getting ready to help make gf pancakes!  she was pretty excited. she loves anything you can put syrup on.  =)

CINCO DE MAYO!  

went to a parade in St. Paul and took Big Sister with us.  she loved it. 

There are a surprising amount of mexicans here. They all came out of the woodwork for the parade. it made me feel like I was back in CA. 

Happy smiles. And some lady was handing out kids' tooth brushes. and big sister LOVES tooth brushes.  it made her so happy. til she dropped it in the dirt. twice. 

Overall it was a really fun day.  These are the girls I went with (l-r): Tanya, me, Big Sister, Alissa, Ashley and Andria.  Such sweet and dear friends they are.  and Big Sister loved them too! 



Well it's 12:34...I had a few minor distractions along the way.  and now I'm getting drowsy and falling asleep at the helm.  er...the keyboard.  anyway.  time for bed. thanks for reading and looking at my pictures! 
au revoir. 

back on track. hopefully.

I feel like most of my posts lately have started with apologies for how lazy I've been in blogging.  So I'll spare you another apology and jump right into the blog.  

Before we get to all the news and updates, I'm going to share something with you.  The other night I was at work doing some side work as I prepared to wrap up my shift.  there was a group of people sitting at a table not far from me, talking, laughing and drinking.  I wasn't purposely eavesdropping, but they were talking so loudly it was unavoidable.  

There is a line in one of my favorite praise songs that says, "Break my heart for what breaks Yours."  

And in that moment, I knew what that meant.  my heart was hurting and breaking from hearing them talk.  Working and living in the "real world" means I'm exposed to a lot of language, crude conversation, spiteful words, bitter people, angry responses etc... but I normally I just cringe on the inside and keep going.  and if I'm honest, the more i'm exposed, the less I cringe.  But for some reason, I was more in tune with this conversation and every swear word, crude comment and misuse of God's name just hit me like a little dart.  

I got a tiny taste of what God must feel when he overhears these conversations...AND he even knows the hearts behind it. I can't even imagine.  And it wasn't judgment I was feeling, it was a deep and overwhelming sadness at how lost these people were.... 

...and they didn't even know or care!

all the sudden,  I realized that I have invested in relationships with people just like this.  All of the sudden, I had this burning urge to go and share everything I know about the love of God with these people.  I love and care about so many people that are lost.  God loves so many more people that are lost.  and they have no clue.  what do I do with this?  how are there SO MANY people who don't know how incredible my Jesus is?  

I was recently explaining to someone why I couldn't end up marrying a non-Christian.  Let me tell you, it is really challenging to tell someone that when it comes down to picking between a guy and Jesus, I WILL choose Jesus every time.  And then trying to explain how this man has captured my heart and why I will stay dedicated to him no matter how great some guy is.  How do I communicate my brokenness, forgiveness, redemption, hope and salvation to someone who doesn't even believe He exists or is in need of Him?  

at the end of my explanation to this person, their response was, "Yeah, I'll admit, I don't understand at all why you do that..." 

CS Lewis, of course, said something that helps me when I get frustrated when people don't understand, "A man CAN accept what Christ has done without knowing how it works: indeed he would not know how it works until he has accepted it."

So I don't need to convince people how it works...because you can't understand it until you experience it.  I can only show you Christ the best way I know how...by his love shining through me. 

There is another song that says, "Give me your eyes for just one second, give me your eyes so I can see everything that I keep missing, give me your love for humanity.  Give me your arms for the broken hearted, the ones that are far beyond my reach, give me your heart for the one's forgotten..."  

When I ask that of God...to have His eyes and heart for these people, it comes with knowing.  knowing the lost, the sadness, the hurt, the depravity...

knowing the answer and solution for it...

knowing that so many are not open to it...

"We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

so if you're reading this and you don't understand why or how Jesus can be my number one choice in life over everything... give him a chance.  don't be so easily pleased.  your heart wants something more.  it was MADE for something more.  seek it out.

 my heart for sharing Jesus with you and the world isn't from a place of how many people I can convert...or how amazing of a Christian witness I could be...  But it comes from a heart that is breaking for people.    

Jesus himself even said, "come to me all you who are heavy laden and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me.  For I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls... for my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

don't you want rest?

we've all felt it (Christ-followers or not)...unrest, uneasiness, panic, fear, hopelessness, uncertainty, blame, guilt, brokenness...just plain lost. 

There is only one fix to this problem.  

only one. 

“God can't give us peace and happiness apart from Himself because there is no such thing.” 

“I know now, Lord, why you utter no answer. You are yourself the answer. Before your face questions die away. What other answer would suffice?”  

 “Give me all of you!!! I don’t want so much of your time, so much of your talents and money, and so much of your work. I want YOU!!! ALL OF YOU!! I have not come to torment or frustrate the natural man or woman, but to KILL IT! No half measures will do. I don’t want to only prune a branch here and a branch there; rather I want the whole tree out! Hand it over to me, the whole outfit, all of your desires, all of your wants and wishes and dreams. Turn them ALL over to me, give yourself to me and I will make of you a new self---in my image. Give me yourself and in exchange I will give you Myself. My will, shall become your will. My heart, shall become your heart.” 

so after hearing that conversation among those people, I couldn't just walk up and share Jesus with them...I was at work, and that would not fly with my bosses...and most people don't appreciate that approach.  so I prayed.  

“I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God- it changes me.” 

God change me into a vessel that communicates your love to a hurting broken world.  I am not here to save the world...you already did that.  I am just here as your servant, sharing with people what has been shared so freely with me.  

(all quotes are from CS Lewis.  did I mention I love him!?)

I'm a little unmotivated to re-organize my photos, So i'll just caption as they are posted. 

 Miss Sierra is getting so big!  When i'm at J&K's house, she is tied to a stake in the yard, and just chills outside.  She has actually dug a hole over underneath the concrete slab that she likes to sleep in.  Unfortunately, she does so right after I give her a bath.  *sigh*

 

So my friends Crystal and Tanya have friends who belong to a theme-party club.  Each couple or person takes a turn hosting a themed party.  This month was a Dutch party. And I inadvertently got invited!  It was so much fun! we ate dutch food, played LOTS of dutch blitz, made some dutch hats, read about holland....it was really really fun.  I like the idea. Some day when I'm grown up, I'll join a themed party club.  

Another pic of Sierra on our nightly walk around the city.  

 The other night, we made home-made pizzas.  Ben and I got inspired to make an olive/palm tree out of fresh mozzarella and kalamata olives. aesthetically pleasing AND yummy.  

 This blur is Sierra playing with her good friend Dexter.  Dex is a Golden Retriever/Samoyed mix.  gorgeous dog, almost 2 years old.  He's quite a bit bigger than Sierra, but they have SO MUCH FUN together.  Pretty much non-stop wrestling and just being mischievous puppies. Dex's owners will often have Sierra over for a playdate when I'm working a long shift.  By the time I get home, Sierra is so pooped.  

ZOO DAY!!!

 Krissa, the kidlets and I went to Como zoo and met up with one of Kris' friends Erika and her son Weston, who is Big Sister's age.

 Karlina and Weston had an interesting relationship.  Karlina is very outgoing, friendly and a little flirty.  Weston wasn't quite sure what to do with all the affection. 

 Watching the bears swimming in water. 

 finally, Weston warmed up and HE grabbed HER hand on our way out of the Polar Bear exhibit.  Completely at random, without parental prompting.  it was so sweet!  

 Baby Brother was so good all day!  he just snoozed either in his carrier or the stroller.  Such a sweetie! 

 Between these two pictures, Sierra looks SO different!  The top one she looks so grown up.  The bottom one, she looks so puppy-ish.  They were taken two days apart.  She's such a fun presence to have around! 

We sometimes go over to the Mogler's and hang out.  They have a fenced in backyard, so Sierra can run free and enjoy herself.  They also have a pool...which is covered right now and has several inches of water on it.  Sierra has so much fun running through it and splashing and chasing leaves.  Her Lab side is coming out!  the dog loves water!! 

The picture below just shows her curly Husky tail.  I love it. 

This may seem random.  But I pass this sign on my way to work...aaand I really want to go see it.  it's a MUSICAL about St.Paul's gangster history.  The men featured in the musical (Alvin "Creepy" Karpis and the Ma Barker Gang are criminals who ended up in Alcatraz...and their escape attempts were what got me interested in criminal justice...) How random and awesome is that?  I think I'm going to go see it.  

These two pictures are from work.  The top one is our ticket stabber after a REALLY busy night at work.  Those are all drink tickets.  Everything from cappuccinos, lemonade, beer, cocktails, wine etc...all gets sent to the bar.  our ticket stabber rarely gets THAT full.  

The picture below is the garnish collection.  We have to garnish our own drinks.  Lemons, limes, oranges, cherries, olives (regular and blue cheese stuffed), twists, blueberries,  pepperoni, pepperoncinis, cherry tomatos and grapes.  You can't see all of them in this pic, but it's such a pretty display of little fruits and vegetables.  Sometimes when its slow, we'll sneak some of them =)

Below is depicted a typical Big Sister conversation. happens dozens of times a day.

 

 "Where'd it go?"  (she says this pretty well on her own. puts her hands up in question)

Then the finger goes to the lip and she says, "Hmmm" as if thinking about it.

then we giggle about it.  =)  She is such a doll.  And she's starting to love seeing me when I come over or at church.  She'll come running and give me hugs and kisses.  I love being one of her favorite people =D 

I shall try not to take so long in updating...("try" being the operative word...)

au revoir.